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JOURNAL ENTRY

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2009 11:33 AM, CST

(Christina) Coming home was hard yesterday. Maya was doing well in the morning. After a few bouts of nausea the day before, she managed to drink and keep down a few ounces of juice, and she was even a bit playful when the doctors came around for their final visit before we were discharged. We were feeling pretty positive, too, armed with our book of instructions and phone numbers and bag of medications. But on the drive home to Colorado Springs, her nausea returned, and as Maya vomited and Kellen sobbed in the back of the van, Julien and I felt the weight of caring for this sick little girl and her brothers.

That’s what Maya seems like now—sick and fragile and so unlike the Maya we brought to the hospital on Tuesday. Even when I’m relieved that she’s having a moment of peace, looking at her shadowy eyes brings me to tears. I miss our little Maya who slides down the stairs, runs laps around the coffee table, and belts out “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” I know this is temporary, everyone tells me she’ll bounce back from chemo treatments, and now on Sunday morning, we’re already seeing signs of that, but it’s hard to accept that this is what our “new normal” is going to look like, and that she has so many of these days ahead of her.

But for today, we have a lot to be thankful for. Maya is already more active and chatty than she was last night. She drank water during the night and this morning and is starting to get her appetite back, without signs of nausea. We are thankful for Zofran (anti-nausea medication). My sister Laurie is flying in this afternoon to stay with us for a week. I am so glad to have her company during this first week at home, and her help with Kellen and Finnan. Every day we thank God again that Maya’s bone scan and chest CT were clean. Maya has an appointment with her local oncologist on Monday (she will do her regular blood counts and next round of chemo here in the Springs), and her PET scan is scheduled for this coming Thursday back in Denver. It is such a blessing that Julien has been given a flexible work schedule to come to these appointments. And we are so thankful for our countless praying friends, and for a God who answers prayer and who is with us every step of the way. We can’t imagine facing this without him.